Whack Pack at the Wing Shack


I go to Hooters for the first time last week. I’ve worked in the building next door for two years, but never visit.

The Hooters founder, Robert Brooks dies last year from natural causes. His obituary tells how he invites the ministers of his church to visit his wholesome restaurants.

Sure enough, there are a bunch of kids running around and their mothers chasing them crawling up the steps.

Is there anything more motherly than mammaries?

I can’t fault Hooters. In fact I like it. The chain is born 25 years ago in Clearwater, Florida, and on Broadway the bright airy restaurant has a sun-kissed Florida feel that doesn’t scream corporate. It's one of the few places in the City where you don't notice you're in New York.

Might as well be Macon, Georgia.

The waitresses wear bright orange briefs; they look like roller derby rejects. I vote for mini-skirts. They might look better with the Miami tan colored leggings that cover their goose bumps. The problem is old as fire itself. From caveman to cubicle, the workaday lumps have far more natural insulation than the Hooters girls.

The three guys next to me are wearing jackets and sweatshirts.

Turns out they are regulars guests on the Howard Stern show. Imagine that I tell Irish John: Howard Stern guys at Hooters.

So I meet the rest of Irish John’s crew, High Pitch Eric and Double A. Collectively they are known as Howard Stern's Whack Pack.

Irish John drinks a lot. That’s how he gets his name, though I don’t know how this translates to radio. He works in the Bronx for a construction equipment rental company; he finds his fame on Sirius Satellite radio.

High pitch Eric has a pencil mustache and a Santa belly. He wears white Champion sneakers and black sweat pants over his 300 pounds.

His voice sounds like he is kicked in the cajones while inhaling a helium balloon.

His talent is obvious. Though as a kid, I’m sure it isn’t exactly an attribute. Though on his web page, he thanks God (Howard?) for giving him his voice.

Double A, I have to look this up, stands for Awesome Anthony. I can’t figure out what his talents are either, but he does have a big tattoo of Howard Stern on his forearm.

If his is so awesome, he should have a tattoo of himself on his forearm.

I’m only in for one drink, but I stay for three rounds. $2.50 Bud drafts during happy hour. Though I don’t find this out until I’m done drinking my overpriced imports. I’ll just have to come back.

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